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Thursday, January 31, 2013

wind on all sides, 1:30am

I thought I was back into my writing groove...

I was wrong.

The post about Moscow that I started three weeks ago is sitting neglected on the bottom right corner of my desktop. I look at it and think about, but can't go back to it.

It might be time to force it. When I don't write my brain is way too full and I'm unfocused. My thoughts and feelings aren't thought out and therefore don't seem real. Just fragments floating.

January is gone now, 1/12 of the year that just began. I'm back at school, back in the place that used to be the happiest on earth for me. It's not, now. I don't have a 'happiest place' at the moment. Which is okay. The bright lights of the future are distracting and inspiring me. I've changed. Am changing.

Still, very happy here, and so grateful that Vassar gives me the freedom to grow.
I'm a different student, a different friend, a different actor, a different person in solitude.

All of this makes my Vassar existence infinitely more fulfilling than it has been.

I'm growing up!
It's fucking beautiful.



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