Friday, December 23, 2011

Winter Break Week 1

I don't want to believe that a week of break has passed. Because "a month off" sounds so cushy and wonderful and exactly where I want to stay. Now it's three weeks and that seems SO MUCH SHORTER. Wah. 

But the past six days have been full of busy happiness. Some highlights:

Angela got married on Sunday. My mom did the reception centerpieces/ceremony set-up. She and Denise are a dream team. Exhibit A:


Bride&Groom's baby girl, Natalie, and my girls.

I was up early helping my mom, changed and did myself up at the church, then became an attendee of the wedding! It was beauty and class on a budget, and it went off without a hitch. Everyone had a wonderful time. So crazy to see one of my high school friends (though 2 years older) getting married. I remember late night talks at cast parties about our futures. You never know what life will throw at you, but I think it always turns out for the best. She is blessed. 

Monday was my first day back at work! The olive oil store was just how I left it... with the addition of several new products, as always. I've worked every day this week and we have just been slammed. I think there was only 3 or 4 people each day that didn't want gift wrapping. Olive Oil & Balsamic is the bottle of wine as far as gifts are concerned. They're that good, though. I could absolutely live on oil, vinegar and bread. Yes.

Tuesday= more work and the first night of Hanukkah! I actually went to a birthday party with Megan, and met some new people. After living here my whole life and having the same friends for five years now, it's really refreshing to have new people in my life. When I got home my mom gave me a Yoga DVD as a gift. That will come in handy back in the dorms! Maybe. Hopefully. ...we'll see.

Wednesday was our first family dinner since I've been home. It felt amazing to just be spending time with my family around the dinner table. My mom has been very accommodating to my newfound vegetarianism (more on that in my next post); we had quinoa salad, roasted vegetables (with persimmons? I really liked but I've never seen it in full form), and LATKES, of course. My mama makes the best latkes. Dessert was homemade rugelach -- I am spoiled. I also gave my dad his Hanukkah present: One Village coffee, the Nor' Easter roast. Apparently it was delicious! 
Also on this day, I walked home from work after getting a Which Wich sandwich (yumyumyum) and when I approached the house my mom was waiting outside and we did a slow run towards each other. It was so funny and adorable. She had also prepared a caprese sandwich for then I felt bad for getting the which wich but I was still hungry so I ate it and I was SO HAPPY because I have the best mom.

Thursday. My mom made Nutella hot chocolate. That was the highlight of the day. Seriously, so delicious.

Today, work was nonstop. I am a bow expert. Almost. I surprise myself with how much I know about olive oil and balsamic vinegar. I can talk for like 10 minutes. But I don't, because I'm really paranoid that I'm being an overbearing salesperson.
I did Zumba with my sister tonight. It was nice to be active, and it's easier when you shout at the screen. Just sayin'. 

Dinner time is nowwww. Homemade mac and cheese. Seriously... the best mom.

Also, the best cat:
We had a bit of a photo shoot. Model cat.

Oh, and there's also this slice of happiness happening a lot:

Saturday, December 17, 2011


Currently sitting at the Phoenix airport. Gotta love free wi-fi!

I finally finished all of my work yesterday, and am now home free for the next 4 weeks! (still working on the home part, though. Just about 2 hours!) To finish that semester was more of a relief than any other semester of school, ever. I'm not entirely sure why. I believe it was a combination of harder work, a department show, and the tour guide job. It was a LOT that I hadn't had to deal with before this year. And I'm not sure that my work was significantly tougher, but I was definitely more invested in my classes, so I wanted to do better.

As always, this semester flew by while simultaneously dragging. But this morning, when my boyfriend's dad was driving me to the airport, it seemed like that had JUST happened. In reality, it was seven months ago, but man, it's hard to believe it has been that long.

My first flight was about 5.5 hours, and it definitely seemed that long. This one lady in the front was a piece of work. She was wearing a surgical mask and when someone coughed on the plane, she yelled "Please cover your mouth when you cough!" Not to mention that she refused to stow her purse and asked ridiculous favors from the flight attendants the whole time. Some people really, really need to learn how to adapt.

I watched The Kids Are All Right on the plane, which I'd been wanting to do for a while. I didn't realize how much sex was in it, which was awkward considering I had two elderly women sitting next to me. I kept exiting full screen mode so I didn't offend them, especially the one who was writing "Remember the Miracle of Christ" holiday cards to her friends. Whoops! Sorry, ma'am.

When I touch down in SD, I'm going straight to Aubrey's holiday party. Hopefully I won't be too wiped out. Either way, I'm stoked to see my family and friends. I've really missed them this semester. Just realizing how much I appreciate them.

More reflections on internal changes this semester will come later. I feel like there have been a lot of them.

I also never talked about Skin of Our Teeth. Which—though it was no doubt a great experience—is a fair representation of how big of a deal it was. (not too big). The production was amazing. Sets, acting, absolutely everything. But I didn't really get to break out my acting chops, and it was hard to feel fully satisfied at the end of every show. I like to feel worn out, proud, euphoric. With this one I just felt like I accomplished the tasks I was told to do. Still, very glad I did it. And can't wait for next semester's shows!

OK, time to board.  yayayayay so close to home!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Three Days and Thoughts that are Clouding my Brain

It's Wednesday. I'll be home on Saturday. Literally 72 hours until I'm on a plane.

I cannot do this 8 page paper. My motivation level is in the negatives, which I feel doesn't make sense as it's one of the only things I have to do before I get to leave. But I'm spent. So spent and ready to relax and sleep for days.

(But not really because when I get home it goes like this: holiday party-->wedding-->work!)

So thankful that I get to work over winter break. I haven't taken any money from my parents this semester, and there's a definite pride in that. Though I hate learning how quickly money goes away, I do appreciate having it. And spending it on people that I love. I think this is the first year that I'm buying holiday gifts for everyone on my list. Nothing big, but still, a token of the way my heart beats for these people.

I have to take my Quantitative Analysis requirement next semester, and right now it's looking like Intro to Macroeconomics. Please, excuse me while I go cry. I only hope I can NRO it so I don't have to get a grade. As you can tell, I am not overly confident in the skills of my left brain.

Still, I have high hopes for next semester. Since coming to Vassar, every semester has improved on the last, and I would love that trend to continue. I cannot begin to explain my sadness that the conclusion of next semester marks halfway through this incredible chunk of my life. It goes too fast and I still feel so new.

It's really, really all about being present. Taking in as much as I possibly can.

My room is a construction zone. Already started packing. (that is how much i don't want to write this paper)

It also feels like I still haven't gotten all of the hairspray out of my hair, despite the numerous shampoos since Sunday.

I think I'm going to the dc to do my paper. Maybe if I'm surrounded by food I'll be more calm. And the library is too crowded.
Worth a shot, anyway.

Saturday, December 10, 2011


When I walk through the quad late at night, I am overcome by the insane possibilities and total grandeur of this life. And everything, everything is worth it.

Staying out until two to have girl time is worth it.

Spending in time in the Strong parlor to listen to your friend practice piano, taking breaks to play Beyoncé and sing together is worth it.

Researching prayer books and Greek theater and artists and spending hours in the library and checking out 20 books is worth it.

The struggle of meditation is worth it.

Reading for fun is worth it.

Countless hours of tech leading up to a show is worth it.

Money and time to show appreciation of your friends is worth it.

Hard conversations to make relationships better are worth it.

Waking up early is worth it.

It has been one hell of a semester. A whirlwind, that is for sure. Classes are pretty much over; 2 papers, 2 exams, 1 presentation is all that is between me and my reunion with California.

One week until I go home. And I am feeling so full of gratitude. SO full.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Just the Way I Like It

It's later than I've stayed up in a while, so I don't feel too guilty. My paper isn't done but it will get done. So will the other ones. This I know, and I find comfort in it.

It's peaceful. I love the wee hours. I feel centered, creative, happy, blessed. Life seems grander. Maybe it's delirium.

Many hours were spent in the library. Then the Rose Parlor. I'm back in my room now. It's emptier without him here. But I treasure my alone time.

My sleeve smells faintly of Ralph Lauren Blue, which smells a bit like my first favorite perfume, Missoni Acqua. Takes me back to high school, spritzing it on by my window seat, preparing to face the day. I still miss it, that time in my life. I was different. Not as good as now. The world was so small. But nostalgia is a powerful beast. I keep it at bay when I can. The present is so good.

I love everyone here and sometimes forget there was a time I didn't know them. I've experienced more things with people I've known for a year than some of the people I knew for four.

College transforms. I've never witnessed something so beautiful.

I'm hungry for more, always hungry for more. I want to do everything, make it last. Feel every feeling, love every way there is to love, learn all that is learnable.

I love every moment and every person in the middle of the night. Counterintuitive. Also so wonderful. Let me just be here for awhile. Just breathe, appreciate, listen, feel.

Tick Tick Boom, Last 5 Years, OneRepublic is the soundtrack for the night.
Music fills the soul, even when people don't change and life is passing by and memories are slipping through your fingers and away forever.