Friday, March 30, 2012

Boyfriend to the Rescue

He makes me laugh. What I need most right now. Bless that man.

Thursday, March 29, 2012


I've never experienced less motivation to do schoolwork than the past two weeks.

It's making me really, really disappointed in myself.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


Why do people think turning 20 is pointless? 21 would be pointless if it wasn't the age of alcoholic legality. In Europe, it's probably pretty pointless.

20 is wonderful. 20 is a new decade. 20 is out of the teenagedom. It's fresh. 

When I turn 20—three months from tomorrow—I hope to feel renewed. I want to feel cleansed from my teenage years, having tied them up nice and neat. I want to really, truly be able to move on and focus on the now and the future. Propel forward, not get dragged back into that murky current.

20 is... adult. Almost. You're in your 20s. The time when many people rent/buy their first place, find a permanent partner, get on solid footing with their career. Or not. 

There's that scary possibility, in your 20s, that you won't find what you're looking for. That none of your dreams will come true. That you'll be broke, on your ass, alone, unsuccessful. When you go to college, ideas of the real world start creeping into your head, but they're just that: ideas. When you turn that magical 2-0, you're IN the decade where everything is supposed to happen.

But then again, don't they say the 30s are the new 20s? With everyone living longer and taking more time to figure out what the heck they want to do. 20s is exciting because it has the potential for such change, such growth. This decade is transformative; by the end we will be someone entirely different. Maybe the same at our core, but different.

And maybe we don't have to be scared. Because maybe there is room to change our minds. And since when is there an age limit on a family, a lifelong love, a dream come true? 

The possibilities are overwhelming and thrilling. Choices, changes, chances—they are abundant in this decade. So why not ring it in joyfully?

(remind me to repost this when I actually am 20)

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

What If

What if everyone living in the world had to have a different name? So there was a name bank. Billions of names you could use. When a person died, their name would go back in the bank. Days later, a newborn would have that name. And the cycle continues.

What if we really took that trip together? We could, you know. The opportunity will be there. I'll do it. I'll drop everything and do it.

What if things never changed and we still did what we used to do?

What if I hadn't met you?

What if all things were forgivable and all people were good?

What if this isn't all there is?

What if it is?

Monday, March 26, 2012

Read Them

My hands look different. Shinier, with more lines on my palms. Softer, with a better grip.

Maybe it's the lotion and the stickiness of that grapefruit I hurriedly inhaled 20 minutes ago. Maybe.

Or maybe I'm changing and my hands are changing with me. I haven't looked at my hands in a while; do they adapt, like your face?

Do my hands react to what I choose to use them for? Do they hate me or love me, depending on how I mold my life? With these hands, I mold my life. They've seen so much, touched so much, been there for me always and kept me safe. Kept themselves safe. Maybe they're moving on as I do. Maybe.

Maybe they grow and change with me, preparing to keep me safe once again. And again. Maybe.

Sunday, March 25, 2012


What would I do without the middle of the night? I seriously love this time so much. Even though it's not so great for me physically, I feel it is sometimes essential for my sanity. When I'm cramming a paper into an all-nighter, I'm strangely calm because it is so quiet and dark and magical and perfect. I've written about this before but it strikes me every time.

Because there is nothing scheduled for this time, I can let myself relax and allow my mind to have thoughts it doesn't have time for in the day. Once I have resigned myself to a no-sleep night, I am ready and happy and relieved. Finally, some truly peaceful time. No distractions.

I hope I can kick this habit when I no longer have papers to procrastinate on, but I think it'll do me well once my spawn come along and throw everything out of whack again. I know it's creepily early to think deeply about this stuff, but I'm looking forward to those special 4AM moments with my babies when I'm up with their undeveloped internal clocks. I do well with 4AM.

Long sigh.

I guess it's time to get back to work. After all, this paper does have to be written by my 8AM breakfast date with Danielle.

Even though the day after invariably drags on, if the worst thing I've got going is sleep deprivation after a glorious, centering night, I don't have it so bad.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Lalala, Saturday.

I am SEVEN blog posts behind. Though I guess technically, it's only six because I'm not behind on this day yet.

It's Saturday morning and I am so tired. I chose to spend some time with Angela last night in lieu of writing my paper, since we hadn't actually had a chance to spend more than five minutes together since the beginning of the semester. I think it was a good choice, but I'll be paying for it tomorrow night.

I'm back in the theater, fulfilling yet another production assignment for the department. This time, it's sound board operator for Long Day's Journey Into Night. Senior project again. Last night I was here from 5-9:40, today from 11:30-10 and tomorrow the same. Ugghhhhh. Not that I don't love it, because I really do. I love being in the theater. But. Ya know. There's this thing called homework. And this other thing called procrastination. And when the two join forces... oy. I'm gearing up for an all nighter tomorrow. I'm gonna try to squeeze some work in between programming and during breaks, etc. But I'm not too confident about how much I will actually get done.

One hour later.....

 I'm now in the sound booth. We just finished programming the sound cues. I'm learning how to use QLab, which is interesting. We ended up having to download a few sound files from YouTube... failing to get a sound designer is probably not the best way to go. Especially when your board op (me) is NOT a tech person. But I'm trying. And I think I'm doing a damn good job, considering.

So now I'll be up here until 10pm, with some breaks in between, doing homework and listening for my ten sound cues. Ha. Not the worst day ever, though I would like some caffeine and perhaps a more comfortable chair in which to work.

But hey. Can't complain. I love it.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Project 365 #8

Day 71. 3.11.12
Reeve's last day. Stop in Starbucks. That is peach green tea. I'll stick with regular.

Day 72. 3.12.12
My grandma's old skirt revamped into a dress. Belt came with a F21 skirt I just bought.

Day 73. 3.13.12
Tender Greens in Liberty Station with the pops. 
I'm on the hunt for the best veggie sandwich around.

Day 74. 3.14.12
Gold Retreat luncheon with Mom at the Grand Del Mar. 
Aka my wedding venue (though that's not what the psychic said)

Day 75. 3.15.12
Best. brother. visit. ever.
I still have to post on that!

Day 76. 3.16.12
The day I left. I like this shot of my new dress a lot.

Day 77. 3.17.12
Finally with the boyfriend again.
We made dinner and ate it not in front of the TV and it was wonderful.

Day 78. 3.18.12
Yes, we are at the same restaurant as the beginning of spring break.
I also find Dan's face strangely cute here.

Day 79. 3.19.12
Not a great picture quality or content wise but lovely memory.
 UpC with my girls and I feel at home.
(Danielle I only cut you out because the blur was weird)

Day 80. 3.20.12
The sky was SO BLUE this day. I've been loving the sun.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Trying to Take a Breath

Remember that time I totally overbooked myself but loved [almost] every minute of it?

That time is now.

Also, I'm really enjoying the phrase "Remember that time...?" recently. I think it's hilarious in situations one wouldn't normally employ that phrase.

Long post tomorrow.

Monday, March 19, 2012

just think, and then don't

I'm going to fall asleep to meditation music and find comfort in the fact that the stress I feel now will not long be remembered.

I'm going to wake up early and commit to finishing my projects so I can take a deep breath and enjoy the sunny week and feel proud of what I accomplished. 

I'm going to focus and also attempt to avoid all Pretty Little Liars news so maybe a Facebook cleanse would be a win-win.

But for now, "Asian Yoga Retreat" is melting the anxiety and putting me to sleep, and I am so grateful.

Sunday, March 18, 2012


My wish for the future is that I will kick this procrastination habit in the butt.

I know it shouldn't be a wish and I can make the choice whenever I want to. But tonight it's not a reality. I keep thinking "Maybe tomorrow..." but it's never gonna happen until I take the 'maybe' out of that thought for good.

It's really frustrating, feeling like you honestly cannot do the things that must be done. It almost feels involuntary, though I know it's not. I feel like I cannot finish an assignment in one sitting, can't start a paper until the deadline is looming over my head.

Is a motivation problem at the root of it all? Am I just lazy? Is it actually more serious than that? Sometimes I seriously feel like I have a disease. I'm pretty sure it's just me, but I have spent way too many moments berating myself for nights and afternoons wasted on things that were not necessary.

Perhaps it's the human desire for pleasure and ease trumping all. Distracting myself is easy. I have plenty of things I can do. I do what's easy because of course, it requires less effort. And I can't seem to change that part of me. If I have a thought in the middle of something, I immediately pursue it, opening new tabs to research things or filling up my Brita or replying to an email or putting something on my wall. It's insane and it needs to stop.

I need discipline. And I think the only way to get it is to crack down on myself and just go cold turkey with it.

Here's to tomorrow.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

St. Patrick's Day in NY

What a freakin' shit show.

Dan and I hung around the apartment for the most part, venturing out for food and a bit of grocery shopping. The people that come out of the woodwork... man. It's like Founder's Day for the real world. Drunk by noon, late nap, ready to go out again by 9. Lots of bagpipers, seas of green, a lot of girls using this holiday as Halloween 2.0. And who even knows the story of St. Patrick's day? I sure as hell can't tell you. But then again, I was the girl with the video camera, laughing at all the midday drunks, not the one wearing an "I'm not Irish, but kiss me anyway" shirt with a shamrock headband and green face paint, pretending to know what I'm celebrating.

Besides alcohol.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just, why make yourself a spectacle on the streets of New York?

While the party was pumping in the apartment below us, Dan and I were busy making some lovely pasta with veggies and mucho garlic. Simple, cheap, romantic. My idea of perfection. I'm definitely true to my astrological sign in this sense. Complete homebody.

Also, I still adore waking up in the city. Cannot wait to do it every day.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Taking Off. Again.

Woohoo airport blogging!

Currently sitting by my gate, waiting for boarding to start but hoping it doesn't for like 10 minutes so I can finish importing vlog footage and writing this post! Oh, the life I lead.

Every time I leave it gets more normal. Not necessarily easier, but more normal. I get over it more quickly. I'm not as much of a blubbering mess this time around, though I did shed a few tears in the car. Which I think is really just a knee-jerk reaction for me. I'm not scared, I'm not upset about going back to Vassar. And of course, I'll miss my family as always but I'm not worried about being homesick. No, crying is just my thing. I tell my parents to ignore it most of the time. Water just comes out of my eyes involuntarily. All the damn time. Sometimes at extraordinarily inappropriate times.

 But anyways.

Here I am, ready to take another redeye to my preferred coast (is that true? I'm not sure but I think so). It's just so routine now. Which is interesting. I'm really racking up my frequent flier miles. Kind of. Except it takes like 40,000 to get a free flight and that's just ridiculous.

I think I should sign off right about now, but a reminder to myself about things I need to blog about this weekend:

-My visit with my bro
-Spring Break fashion haul
-My first ConsciousBox review
-among others.

I have quite a few days to catch up on!

See you on the other coast.

You're Right, I AM Choosing To Be Completely Ignorant of All My Homework.

This massage chair is seriously saving my life.

One day, when I'm fairly affluent and have had enough trials (and kids) to have a real excuse to "treat" myself, I will be getting massages all. the damn. time. That will be my thing. Just like my mom.

Kinda hard to type when the "percussion" feature is happening.

Ahhhhh knots, knots, GTFO.

I'm sure this is totally false, but I feel like I get tense a lot easier than some people. Do I just carry a shit ton of stress in my shoulders? I mean, I try to think of myself as a positive, low-stress kind of gal, but I will admit to many late nights hunched over the computer, finishing a paper or a reading or post. Ya know. Like you do.

Wait my massage is over. That was 15 minutes? Aaaaaaand repeat. Good. I could do this all night.

A further testament to my desire to be spoiled: I have been hungry for a good hour but have not gotten off my ass to walk the fifteen paces to the kitchen.

Like you do.

I love me some Vassar but damn, this spring break stuff is the good stuff. Summer in 7 weeks*? Cool? Cool.

*edited to add: yep, just realized that I said this in my last post. it's that important, y'all. but i love school. but i love summer. (feelings)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Fragmented PANIC

(! At the Disco. I'm sorry, I HAD to.)

Uhm. So. Uhm.

Panic mode.

I made a list a few days ago of the homework I have to get done before school starts on Monday. Two things:

1. I haven't done any of it.
2. There is more than I thought.

I think I'm screwed. Should I stay up tonight? Maybe? Sleep in the car on the way to Whittier? But all my assignments are either reading or super-artsy-thinky stuff. Can I do that with a sleepy brain?

I'm talking it out.

Also I just put all of my Hair rehearsals into my iCal.
Scary shit, man.
Also I have to learn those lyrics?!

WHAT IS GOING ON. I should probably just start with reading one of the three plays I must finish.

Wah wah wah, life is not all peaches and cream.
But also 7 weeks til classes end.

That's half of Vassar for me. More than that, if I end up in Russia in the fall.


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

What Is It About Her

Sometimes I just don't feel understood. Sometimes I don't understand myself. And then I realize I have these shortcomings I used to swear I didn't have. I'm trying to be more aware of what's going on with me. What I'm excelling in and where I'm falling short. Because sometimes we've been lying to ourselves for way too long, wanting to believe something that just isn't true.

I'm trying to be a good friend, a good girlfriend, a good daughter, a good sister. A good person. I'm trying and sometimes I'm not and that sucks. I'm still working on controlling my impulses and knowing what's right and what I should and shouldn't say. When I should just listen and when it's best for me to go the extra mile. Or not. And above being just 'good,' I want to be right. And honest. And real. I want to be able to tell everyone exactly how I'm feeling and talk about problems and work through rifts in a relationship. And it's funny because I used to pride myself on letting my feelings be known.

But I guess that's only when I cry and I have to spill. Which is too often. Is overactive tear duct syndrome a thing? If yes then I have it. Bad. But I digress.

I guess I am not as 'confrontational' as I thought. I'm scared. I fought with my mom about it tonight. I'm scared of bringing things up because I don't want to make people upset and I'm unsure how to act or how they'll take it, how it will affect our future relationship. That's shitty, because if I don't address the problem, then it WILL affect the relationship.

Nice, Sarah.

I guess I'm still learning. Identifying the problem must be some sort of first step to change, right?

I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying.

I want others to want to be around me. I want to be fun to hang out with, good to talk to, a solid shoulder to cry on. I want to be whatever I can be. Am I having a problem feeling loved? I don't know. That's too much for now.

I love people and I overanalyze them and I think way too fucking much and I just want people to think about me with a smile on their face and that's all. That's all.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Project 365 #7

Day 61. 3.1.12
Happy March! Snow leftovers. Sleety rain. Occupy Education happened this day: students didn't attend class and instead did a march in protest of tuition hikes, etc. around Poughkeepsie. I skipped class, too, but that was to go to lunch with Reeve's parents. 

Day 62. 3.2.12
After midnight on Thursday eve. Walking home from the Acrop, I grabbed a ball of snow and chucked it at the door. For fun, I guess.

Day 63. 3.3.12
One year with this handsome man. And no, that isn't my whole breakfast but YES, that is freshly squeezed orange juice and my, was it delightful.

Day 64. 3.4.12
First day in San Diego with Reeve. Of course it had to be a beach day. After this we went to Point Loma and had gourmet sandwiches and chocolate. Then I got fish food for Hannah's new goldfish. They promptly died three hours later.

Day 65. 3.5.12
A day spent in Seaport Village. We took the Ferry there and back.

Day 66. 3.6.12
Balboa Park. Botanical Garden, Museum of Art and the Tea Pavilion. Among others.

Day 67. 3.7.12
Disneyland morning until night, with a lovely homemade dinner at Lexi's house in Santa Monica.

Day 68. 3.8.12
Kind of cheating again. This was on the ride home from Lexi's, but definitely after midnight. Listened to many musical soundtracks. Mainly Spring Awakening and American Idiot. The rest of this day we mostly lounged around watching GSN and Food Network.

Day 69. 3.9.12
Another beach day. Gorgeous, gorgeous weather.
This was my favorite day, I think. The one I wrote a post on previously.

Day 70. 3.10.12
Shopping! That man in the black hat in the background is actually Steve Madden. He made an appearance at the store for a couple of hours. I think this picture is extraordinarily cute.

Friday, March 9, 2012

I Found It

I'm sitting at the dining table, drinking now lukewarm coffee with almond milk and feeling that pleasant exhaustion from hours spent in the sun. This is what spring break should be.

Since Reeve has been here, I've been pretty good about giving us something to do outside the house every day. I wanted him to see as much of San Diego as possible in this short week. It has been quite enjoyable to rediscover parts of this city that many of us natives take for granted. I hadn't spent time in Seaport or Balboa for many months if not a year. But it didn't feel satisfying, didn't feel like a true 'break.' Yesterday we took a recovery day from Disneyland, and mostly lounged around watching the Game Show Network and the Food channel, until Kelly came over and we ventured out to get gelato. But that didn't feel active enough. Clearly, I do a damn good job at idealizing San Diego breaks but can't quite replicate the fantasy once I touch down on the west coast. 

BUT. Today, I think I found the balance. Relaxed productivity. Or something. Around noon today, we took my sister to lunch at La Salsa. Afterwards, we walked straight to the beach and relaxed on the sand for an hour (I would say worked on my tan but honestly? still so pale). Once the wind started blowing sand into all those unknown crevices, we walked home and decided to make lemonade! Homemade lemonade is one of my favorite things, and the fact that there is a lemon tree in our front yard is the BEST thing. We sipped on our drinks outside while eating some high-end trail mix (belgian chocolate=high-end) and then came in when the sun slipped behind the trees. 

And then I poured some coffee while Reeve went to shower. And today was the epitome of spring break for me. Fully satisfying, but the most effort I exerted was in juicing lemons. I feel so relaxed but also like I did something with my life. Maybe it was sitting outside. Because I always say I'm gonna do that and then I get tangled up in blankets with my cold feet and hot computer and it gets dark and I don't know how and I'm in weird parts of the internet and I thought I would do homework but mostly I wasted the day clicking on links. And I could have done all of this outside but I didn't because I'm lazy.

So now I will shower and chop vegetables for dinner. Megan will come over and we will drive downtown and walk around the Gaslamp and perhaps sit in a coffee shop and then I'll come home and maybe watch something on Netflix and then fall asleep happy and full. 

I want every day to be this day.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Hi It's Late

I WILL have 366 blog posts by the end of this year, come hell or high water. I am currently 2 behind, but I'm also determined to not totally halt my life so I can post something on the internet. If I had a cult following things might be different BUT I DON'T. Yet. Just saying.

Today (yesterday) was Disney Day! Disneyland was great as always. Not much new to report, though I did do a lot of things I usually skip (ahem, Jungle Cruise) (now I remember why). And I also got a Mint Julep for the first time in years. Missed those things.

My favorite part of the day, though, was making our way to Santa Monica for dinner with Lexi. She made us baked Mac N Cheese, roasted asparagus/tomatoes with garlic, toasted baguette AND flourless chocolate cake with fruit.

Um. Yeah. It was real.

The food was divine, the conversation was wonderful and talking until late into the night tops my list of favorite things to do. Ever. I was sad we had to leave, but there was a 2.5 hour drive ahead of us, and our eyes, however young, can only stay open for so long.

I love nights. They make me think too much but I love nights and I love driving through them. With music.

Today was good. Great. I love my friends. We are—and always will be—people who need people.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Brownies and Museums

Today I made salted caramel nutella brownies.
Oh my gosh. These go in the 'keep' pile. (though I would add even more nutella next time).

It felt really good to make something from scratch. Just to be productive in the most literal sense: to produce an actual thing. It makes you feel like it was a day well-spent, even if all you did was make a fudgy, salty, sweet, calorific dessert.

But that wasn't all I did. There was a sprinkle of culture in there, too.

Reeve and I went to Balboa Park today, which was still beautiful despite the gloom. We spent a couple hours in the Museum of Art. Museums are always a weird experience for me, because until you hit age 30, every single employee is going to eye you for a second too long, just waiting for you to make some sort of mistake. Also being made to stay quiet for that long is unnatural for me. But. Still. Good things happen in museums. I think the forced quiet is ultimately helpful. It calms me, takes me to a different place. A peaceful, introspective, thoughtful place. I also found an exhibit to base my Actor's Craft project on... an exhibit that made those peaceful feelings even stronger.

Also, Balboa is seriously the best. There are so many places to go and so many wonderful spots to just sit and BE. I need to spend more time down there. On top of the 52034832 other reasons I love that Reeve is here, one important reason is that it's getting me back in touch with my hometown. I'm going places I haven't spent much time in for years, and that really makes me happy. (also sad that I haven't been doing it).

Here's to the second half of the week! Also tomorrow which is DISNEY.

Monday, March 5, 2012

A Sunny Day One

I feel like I'll be doing a fair amount of catch-up blogging this week, what with the responsibility of showing Reeve all there is to see of this lovely city.

Yesterday, the weather was absolutely perfect, a sunny 75 I believe. So of course, we went to the beach, and Danae came with us! The water is still freezing in March, but we dipped our feet in and then laid out on our towels for a couple of hours.

Once the wind started to pick up, we left for Point Loma to get some lunch. Danae took us to Con Pane, which is fairly identical to Breads and Cie that closed some months ago. I got a Veggie Cobb sandwich on Rosemary Olive Oil bread... I die for gourmet breads. It was so good.

Across the street was Chi Chocolat, a family-owned chocolaterie tucked in the corner of another Liberty Station building. I had a small bronze-dusted dark chocolate 'playing card' with ganache and cardamom.

It was such a beautiful day, the perfect first one for both Reeve and myself. Spring Break is probably the best gift of the school year. These past 6 weeks have been grueling, and to have a healthy dose of ocean, sunshine and good food yesterday was the start of a 2 week rejuvenation. Loving every second of it.

Saturday, March 3, 2012


I've been with Dan for a whole year and I can't understand it.

It feels so recent, and I'm unsure what happened to those 365 days. Yet I cannot imagine my life without this man, and I feel as if I've always known him somehow, somewhere in the depths of me.

All of this is cliché; everyone feels this way. But it never stops freaking me out, it never stops catching me by surprise. How does someone become so rooted in you that life feels empty without them? And so quickly?

I am happier than I have ever been. And it was so gradual, the healing and the love and the friendship that  only when I took a step back did I notice how different it all was. How wonderful and fresh and honest and joyful.

He has truly changed my life for the better and man, did he come at the right time. He's honest, up front, communicative, romantic, funny, sweet, present, considerate and supportive. He's the right combination of all things good and even through our arguments, he is a rock that I am always sure will be there at the end of the day. The comfort that brings me is so immense and it has nothing to do with dependency on a 'boy.' Apart from Danae, he is truly my best friend. I've never been so unabashedly close to someone, or had someone accept me for everything that I am while still managing to be completely candid.

He is something I can count on in this ever-transient life, and that is invaluable.
This past year has been my best. Dan has given me confidence in love and confidence in myself, and I could not imagine my life any other way.

He is all I could have wanted and everything I didn't know I needed.
Here's to another year.

Project 365 #6

So I'm behind on posting pictures and I didn't blog yesterday because I was with my lovely boyfriend for our one year anniversary. A post on that later today, but to make up for yesterday, here are the final pictures of February:

Day 51  2.20.12
Walking with Reeve. Beautiful colors at twilight.

Day 52 2.21.12
A place I often want to be but can't because of all the things I have to do at my desk.

Day 53 2.22.12
In the dressing room for tech. Like my glasses?

Day 54 2.23.12
SHOES. At tech again.

Day 55 2.24.12
I think I liked my hair. This is the only picture from this day.

Day 56 2.25.12
At the Bardavon to see VRDT

Day 57 2.26.12
A rare delicious lunch at the DC with the boyfriend.

Day 58 2.27.12
My schedule. Doesn't look as full as it actually was.

Day 59 2.28.12
Opening night of Measure for Measure! 

Day 60 2.29.12
Snow on leap day. One of my favorite Vassar views

Thursday, March 1, 2012


Whenever my sister is tagged in new pictures on Facebook, I am so excited.

I really do hate being away from her. I feel like I'm missing her really blossom. Every time I come back, I have to get to know her newer, more mature self. She is ever evolving; it makes me so happy but I wish more than anything that I could be right there watching and helping, performing my true big sister duties.

My sister and I are close, but sometimes I'm afraid of distance growing between us because I'm away so often. When I see her face and know her adventures, I feel almost like I was there. I go through them multiple times and maybe I'm being a little nostalgic for high school but mostly I want to know how she's spending her time and who her friends are and if she is happy. I worry sometimes that she doesn't have someone to spill her guts to.

I just love that girl and she's getting so old so quickly. Sometimes I get flashbacks to fifth or sixth grade and I automatically think "Like where Hannah is now" until I realize a split-second later that she is almost halfway through HIGH SCHOOL. I'm getting a taste of how a parent feels and I'm not a fan.

Time, please slow down. Or at least slow down until I get home so my baby sister isn't a whole new person each time I see her.

....which is now in 2 days. So excited!