Where's the Fast-Forward Button?

I wish blogging had a due date or someone held me accountable so it didn't always get left to the wayside. All of the research and studying and paper writing is leaving me with little time and almost no articulacy for my blog.

I need this semester to be over. No matter what happens, I will be home in 17 days. But I have no idea how it's all going to get done.

Tech week for Skin of Our Teeth starts this Friday. 5-10pm. Saturday 11:30-10pm. Sunday 12-10pm. WHAT.

And what do I have to do?
Sources of World Drama research paper, Sources presentation, Sources final exam.
History of Fashion research paper, Hist. Fash. presentation.
French essay, French quiz, French final exam. (and still more regular French homework)
Nineteenth Century British Novels final paper. (about what??) Oh and have I finished the 565 page novel we're reading right now? Of course not.

I'm seeing Cornel West's lecture tonight. Honesty time: I don't know how actively I will be able to pay attention. I'll probably be thinking about all of the homework I have to do. BUT. I think I would regret not going, and I'm sure I'll get some nugget of wisdom. More on that later? Perhaps.

My mind cannot stay on one subject for too long lately. I feel this will continue right up until the end of the semester. Oh, California is calling my name! [And all of the food my mom taunts me with in her Mobile Uploads album on Facebook]

All She Wrote

My memories of life before age ten come in fragments.

The same fragment comes to me each time I stare at a clock.
Second grade. Ms. Hildebrand's class. Story time on the floor.
My eyes were glued to the clock, mystified that minutes passed but I couldn't see the big hand move.

I wanted to see the big hand move.

Today, I see the big hand move.
I know time.
I know its tricks.
I know how it works.

Yet still, I am mystified.

I don't want to see the big hand move.

Awkward & Awesome

I've seen the Awkward & Awesome Thursdays post here on Blogger, so I thought I'd join in, considering those are two very accurate adjectives every week for me. Also, it's already Friday, technically. OH WELL.

SO. The awkward:

• Having to break up a fellow group birthday celebration by carefully tip-toeing between the cake and the bare feet. Even more awkward? The celebrators not even attempting to move.
• Running into professors in long hallways. SO MUCH TIME to make strange and meaningless conversation.
• When your friend gets way too surprised/offended that you don't know who Cornel West is. Like, whoa. 
• Tripping over words during a small campus tour. Also, physically tripping.
• Showing up to the dining hall 15 minutes before it opens for dinner. Hungry, much?
• Drama rehearsals, sometimes.
• French class, always.

And the awesome:

• Becoming closer with people who used to be just acquaintances.
• After-dinner/midday/anytime Beyoncé dance sessions. Reeve and I decided to learn part of the Countdown dance. It ended in him elbowing me in the head. It's on video. 
• Watching Daily Grace videos. 
• Skyping with best friends.
• Participating in class and having a professor call your idea 'beautiful.'
• Delicious international food from all of the great area restaurants for not so much $$.
• Drama rehearsals becoming fun!
• The days until boyfriend reunion being 6.
• SO MANY fun things to look forward to this weekend.
• Finally declaring my major!

Hodgepodge

Things have slowed down the tiniest bit over here, as Virginia Woolf wrapped up over the weekend and there are no papers staring me in the face. For now.

Still, I feel the increasing pressure of Junior Year Abroad forms, recommendation letters, family I haven't called, and final papers and exams in the not-so-distant future. I am so very glad I was raised to be a positive individual; some deep cleansing breaths and a fair amount of laughter are all I need to stay (somewhat) sane.

On Saturday we celebrated Charmaine's 20th birthday! Danielle and I woke up early to visit MyMarket, the Dollar Store, and The Three Arts for a birthday present... Chocolate, balloon, and a book on Frida Kahlo, wrapped all lovely and decorated with some fall leaves we picked up on the walk. Not gonna lie, I was pretty proud of that gift. Thoughtful, fun, and didn't make a big dent in our bank accounts! The 4 of us (Niya, Char, Danielle and I) had brunch at Babycakes, and Char loved her gift. Phew!

the gift! (and yummy coffee)

Later that day, I went to see Barefoot in the Park, which my friend Angela directed. I loved what she did with it, and the actors were great, but I didn't connect too much with the script. I feel like it's one of Neil Simon's plays that doesn't translate too well over the decades. Still, I enjoyed it.


I ran right from that show to grab some food and then make my 5:45 call for Virginia Woolf. Closing night was fabulous; everyone was raving about it. Immediately following, I ran to Charmaine's room to have a toast for her birthday, then ran back (so much running!) to Main building for The Goat, a staged reading by the cast of Virginia Woolf (hard workers, those four). After that, we toasted to them and then headed to the cast party!

The cast and crew!

(I think this was "Pose like you're in a 90's sitcom!")

I stayed out until 3, getting to know everyone better and really enjoying a party with people that I had never spent too much time with. That was awesome. Also, I think everyone needs a 3AM night every once in a while. Just... because.

Sunday was like most Sundays: not as productive as I wanted it to be but still nice. I discovered Daily Grace on YouTube and am now obsessed. I did my laundry and then let it hang around my room to dry. Seriously, every couple of weeks my entire wall becomes my laundry line. Another highpoint of Sunday? The sunset:

This is serious. 

Also, our library is the greatest addition to sunset shots.

Also, this?

The colors on this coast, I swear.

I painted my nails the other day and I can't stop looking at them. This is Revlon's Steel-Her Heart. A gorgeous, steely metallic color. Absolutely perfect for the holiday parties with your LBD. I'm thinking this will definitely be on my nails for New Year's Eve! So far it hasn't chipped at all (I use Sally Hansen's Insta-Dri top coat). I actually love the Revlon polish formula even more than my China Glaze/ Essie polishes.

It's so tough to get the lighting right on polish shots!

And something to maybe make you feel a bit better about yourselves. When I'm in the library, it usually  goes something like this: facebook, email, read blogs, YouTube, check facebook & email again, take pictures of myself. 

Exhibit A.

Productivity... it's a work in progress.

Wishes

In honor of 11/11/11, I thought I'd post some of my wishes (mostly because I didn't really do anything cool today and I need some way to document that I was alive and kicking on this once-a-century occasion).

What I did do was work yet another Open House. We had about 550 people total today. I gave 3 tours, 2 of which had upwards of 25 people on them. Let me tell you, it's a lot more tiring than it sounds! My feet are begging for me to be horizontal. I'm also becoming an expert mingler. Though I am still struggling with how to end the conversation. It's just awkward.

I also majorly failed at waking up to my alarm. Got a call from a fellow tour guide, asking if I was coming down. Whoops. Thankfully I was able to get ready in less than 5 minutes (I'm always surprised by my ability to do this) and slipped in largely unnoticed.

Tonight I am blogging from the light booth once again, to the ambient sounds of disgruntled married couples and a very responsive audience.

So, my wishes.

I wish that I could get the chair of the department's signature to declare my major.

I wish the Junior Year Abroad forms would fill themselves out.

I wish I had closer relationships with professors so I wouldn't feel so uncomfortable asking for recommendation letters.

I wish I had more dining bucks.

I wish it was acceptable and nutritious to eat a croissant for breakfast every day.

I wish I had super cool blog post ideas.

I (sometimes) wish I could go home for the weekends. (Sometimes) 3,000 miles is too far.

I wish my boots weren't falling apart. Or that I had new boots.

I wish I could get to sleep earlier.

I wish I never procrastinated.

I wish I could stop running into doors and giving myself bruises.

And some deeper wishes:

I wish that all of the people in my life knew how grateful I am for them, and how much love pours out of my heart every day.

I wish I could reconnect spiritually and fill the place of yearning in my heart.

I wish I could plan ahead for birthdays and special occasions, and always go above and beyond for the people I care about despite how much I have to do.

I wish that I could commit myself to learning and become a sponge for knowledge.

I wish I could live entirely in the moment and not always be worrying about the time that's passing by when I could just be grateful for the time I have right now.

And I'm planning on turning I wish into I will.

Blogging from the Booth

The light booth, that is.

Being cast in a Drama Department show also means receiving a production assignment; mine is light board operator for Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, a senior project (like a thesis). So I've spent the last week in the Powerhouse, programming light cues and subsequently running them. Though I am definitely an actor through and through, I have had the best time. It's refreshing to get outside your comfort zone, to work your brain in a new way and be part of something that breaks up the daily routine, if just for a week. And here's a bit of what the week looked like:

A super cute cast+director+stage manager huddle

Multi-tasking is the name of the game. Reading Mary Barton and running lights.

The caffeine was for the paper I would write on the aforementioned novel later that night.

Buttons I have become quite familiar with.

State of the art stuff, folks. Apparently this is the light board they 

are currently using on Broadway.

A great moment when the character George shoots an umbrella

out of a gun. Another moment of stagecraft genius from Paul.

I had never read this show, and watching it so many times has been wonderful. Edward Albee is really a family drama genius. I've picked up something different and found a new meaning every time they have run it. And the acting is brilliant. I knew all but one of the four, and had never really seen them perform. I was so impressed and inspired by them; they have really worked hard, and it shows. The director is a senior who I knew of last year, but hadn't really said more than one word to until this semester. I was very happy to have been assigned to work on her project, and was all the more happy when I saw this on the light board tonight:

To know someone feels a similar way about you is really gratifying. This is one of those things that will be a keepsake for a while. Maybe that's just me, though. I keep everything. 

SO. Here we are, opening night! I'm watching the house fill up and hearing the noise of the crowd grow. It's weird to watch a theater fill up and not be backstage, touching up my makeup and taking deep, cleansing breaths to rid myself of nerves. I haven't done tech for a show since freshman year of high school. I like it, though. I have realized that my passion for theater is not just a passion for acting, but for the entire theater process and experience. I really do love it all, and it makes me so happy to say that.

And even though I did virtually nothing to make this show a success, I can't help but feel a little pride and a little nervousness as well. It's just exhilarating. Being a part of something, it's exhilarating.

Just Write.

Sometimes when I don't have time to do laundry and I need socks, I'll bring them to the shower with me and wash them there. I know, I know. But come on, it's kind of brilliant, right?

Tonight I put them on my hands, like mittens, to get all the soap out. Which reminded me how I dislike baby mittens. It's too weird. The water made a funny noise splashing against the wet cotton.

Next time I go into the bathroom and become paranoid by a strange noise, I'll think 'Maybe someone's washing their socks.'

My socks are now in front of my little Target fan. I'll watch them dry as I write the English paper I had no time to even think about in this whirlwind of a tech weekend.

I do so love this life.

Mobile Upload?

I forget that I have this app on my phone. Probably because my battery sucks so much already. UGH. I'm thinking about ordering a new, stronger battery. Worth the money because I really cannot handle my battery lasting for 4 hours.

This has been a mobile upload.

(The picture is of the northeast's great irony. Snow melting on a beautiful day.)

Countdowns and Happy Homesickness

Countdowns are in effect right now. As much as I am trying to live in the moment, I have to note these excitements:

19 days until I meet Dan at Grand Central (oh how romantic. my dad thinks so, anyway!)
44* days until I'm home for winter break!

Those numbers are crazy and SOON. Not surprising, though, as these days get busier and fly faster!

My brother turned 21 last Friday, the 28th. I'm sorry, what? He can legally buy a drink at a bar now, which just seems like a milestone we would never get to. This puts me 20 months from that milestone. A year ago, I wrote about his turning 20 on my Tumblr. Ha. My sentiments have not changed at all. And I'm now at less than 8 months away from the no-longer-a-teenager milestone. No one really likes 20. I don't think I'll be different.

On my brother's birthday, I Skyped home for 2 hours. Lots of talking. My parents toasted my brother and his (over 21) friends with bourbon, which was funny to watch. My face was placed on the piano. Dad made a brief but sentimental speech and I cracked up, but not in a mean way. I love my dad, and that he feels comfortable sharing his feelings with us. I really wanted to be home at that moment.

I also got a tour of the new house, which is just lovely! I have my own room THANK GOD after that summer of couch-sleeping. My room also opens up onto the inner wraparound balcony, which looks over the inner courtyard. This all sounds so fancy. Really, it's just a lot more accommodating for us than the condo we moved out of. Also on the balcony is on our sauna. So glad we were able to find a place for it in this house, and even more excited that my room is right by it! Again, I want to go home!

I'm experiencing a lot more homesickness this semester than I did last year. I'm simultaneously happier this semester, so it's not as if I'm crying in my room missing Mom and Dad. I just adore the island lifestyle. I could WALK places, which was unheard of for the first 18 years of my life. And I'm also developing a more adult relationship with my siblings and my parents, which feels really good.

That being said, I am quite obsessed with Vassar and I'm going to fully soak up the next 44 days. No worries there.

Also on the 28th, I went to the gym. Monumental enough to post here.


*Pending approval from the Dean of Studies. UGH.