Sometimes, I hate the computer. And my phone. I've so loved discovering this blog world, reading and learning and sharing in the lives of others. And having a place to write myself! I love being able to have answers and songs and new ideas at my fingertips, just waiting for me to discover them. The internet can be enriching, yes. But it is SUCH the easy way out (of life!) and I find it getting in the way of the grand summer plans I had when school ended.
Things as simple as reading. I love reading. Always have. And I knew I wanted to read a ton this summer. But the computer has been so easy to open, and there are so many sites and things to check....and even when I'm updated on everything, I still find a way to get completely sucked in. Then it's hours later and I have no time to read. I've fallen asleep with the laptop in front of me, and that is honestly shameful. So last night, I consciously said NO to the computer, climbed in bed with a book I've been meaning to read for MONTHS (Shadow of the Wind, read it) and fell asleep with a book instead of a computer. And it was the best night I've had since I've been home. Relaxing, enjoyable, stimulating (but not overly stimulating like a computer)... I fell asleep with such ease.
Why didn't I just make this decision to abandon the computer a while ago? Well, I'm weird at night. I get worried about little things, hate dark silence, love when I go to sleep around others who are awake... I really dislike being alone with my own thoughts at night. And the computer solves that. It keeps me connected, even when I'm not actually talking to anyone. Watching videos, reading blogs... these are real people sharing fresh ideas (well maybe not fresh IDEAS, but their posts are new, anyway!) Now, I can get absorbed in a novel just as much as the next book lover, but I think reading lends itself to reflection, to thinking about your life. And I go from thinking about life to thinking about other, irrelevant things. And it is so damn quiet at night.
Reading in the day has been a problem for me because I just cannot sit down! For some reason I can't get in the mood to read. And that mood used to be SO easy to get into... I've been completely copping out since I've been home and it's really frustrating. A friend lent me Shadow of the Wind back in February... of course, school and the boyfriend kind of got in the way of reading, but I was so excited to read it when I got home since my friend had raved so much about it. It was his favorite book, and you know those friends where you just trust their opinion on almost anything? That's the kind of friend we're dealing with...but STILL, the book sat, collecting dust.
But now, I am choosing literature over technology. It is so much better for my mind and body. I learn so much and I just feel better. Yes, the computer still has its place (hello, blog) but there will be no more late nights refreshing Twitter and Facebook, or searching for yet another blog to follow (I'll do that in the daytime). The screen overly stimulates my mind and totally prevents me from having a good night's sleep. And this summer is about, among other things, being a healthier person. I have to actually make the effort for that to be possible.
My next project will be taming my wild and ridiculous thoughts, once and for all.
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