Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Work It Out

I love working the system, just publishing a couple of words to get the time stamp to say June 6, even though I'm really going to finish after midnight. This is still my June 6th!

It's been a little over a week since I've been home. I've been fairly productive, but there are two things I cannot seem to do: wake up early and exercise.

I can fix these problems pretty damn easily. I just have to go to bed earlier and create a plan for working out. But I won't do it. I'm realizing that I'm never going to unless I force myself until it becomes habit. I'm just not the person that's going to be thrilled about throwing on the sneakers and going out for a run. Not yet, anyway. That's my goal. To wake up really early, bright eyed and motivated, get dressed quietly, slip out the front door and run to the beach. Run on the beach. Run back, shower, eat breakfast. That would feel so good; why isn't it motivation enough?

I think before it was because I didn't see a huge shift in my health either way. I'm a generally happy person, with good skin and a metabolism that hasn't slowed down on me yet. I eat healthy food 80% of the time and I don't just sit on my ass all day. So, yeah, when I got myself to the gym, I felt great and my endurance started to improve, but I wasn't feeling like a whole new me.

I take care of myself. Except for this small huge aspect. And now, finally, I am feeling the effects. In the form of sore, tight, constantly achey muscles. Restlessness. Weakness. Inability to breathe deeply. Anxiety.

Yes, I'm still happy, and the same weight I was when I started college, but my body as a machine is not operating at its full potential. I need to just force myself to change this.

There's a quote I love (and found via Google because I couldn't remember it):

“We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing.” 

Apparently there are different variations and apparently it's an Alcoholics Anonymous saying (and who the f is Henry Cloud?), but the point remains the same: it's that time. In so many areas of my life, but let's stay focused, shall we? It is time to stop making excuses and just do it because I know it's the solution. I know I need to treat my body right, and I know the shitty consequences facing me if I don't.  It hurts to be this way now. Mentally and physically, both.

I'm ready. Setting up a schedule TOMORROW.

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