Sunday, February 5, 2012

Sunday Dump [the third]

I'm processing.

Sometimes the feelings of inadequacy are so palpable I can literally feel the weight of them everywhere on my person.

Inadequacy coupled with a frequent lack of drive promotes even deeper feelings of inadequacy and the cycle is vicious, as so many are.

I think, though, that everyone has a point where they get it. "This is what I need to do to get to where I want to be." I think I have found that.

Passion necessitates hard work. Focused, true, hard, long, sometimes shitty work. But work that is so worth it. I wish I could fully grasp that light at the end of the tunnel. The payoff isn't real yet. I've gotten into the mindset that I'm just going to stay static.

But I don't want to. I really, really don't want to. And I can't. I can't afford to play around anymore.

I am thankful for the incredible people in my life that force me to see the bigger picture, reevaluate, and plant a seed of pointed positivity.

It's not a failure. It's a road. My path to where I'm supposed to end up. I trust in that, but I also have to trust in myself, and make it happen.

The time is now, and it always has been.

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