Shift

Went from being happy light airy focused engaged to tired heavy stressed negative distracted.

I don't quite know why this is.

But I'm gonna go ahead and assume it has something to do with economics. It's just so hard for me to wrap my brain around and be patient enough to figure out. I want a tutor (before the midterm next week?)

I think I'm going to start going to bed early and waking up early to finish homework. My body needs rest and I just can't think straight past a certain hour. I also get really upset when I'm not performing as well as I know I could if I really put some effort into it.

I do want to understand. I want to understand everything that is thrown at me, and I shut down if I don't after a while. I struggled with this throughout middle and high school. My parents put up with so much of this. I'm working on keeping an open mind even when I get frustrated, but it's hard. I get angry with myself and then just totally check out. Or cry. I'm good at that.

I'm trying to stay focused and work out the problems on my own, even if it means carefully combing through my notes or the textbook for many minutes.

I'm trying to do what it takes.