Sunday, January 22, 2012

Sundays are for Emptying the Mind

Since I'm blogging every day, I figured it might be a bit more structured and interesting if I threw some weeklies in here. SO. Sunday is Dump Day. All the little bits out on the page before the new week starts. Here we go week one:

I really should not waste time stalking people on Facebook if I have never met them. It's a bad, wasteful habit.

I had a pretty relaxing Sunday, spent mostly in the library, with a long dinner at the DC and a couple of hours spent doing pointless yet fulfilling internet research. I just like knowing things, whatever 'things' they may be. Which probably explains my need to stalk strangers on the internet.

I recommend that everyone read the play Faust. Or at least get a detailed summary of it. (Really, though, you want the quotes). It is such beautiful verse and a truly timeless story of humanity, temptation, strengths and weaknesses. Really breathtaking in some parts. One of my favorite excerpts:

"A sweet yearning, beyond my understanding,
Set me wandering through woods and fields
And while a thousand tears were burning
I felt a world around me come to be."

It just kind of stops you in your tracks.

Thought Catalog is refreshing, and so true to its name. Just thoughts. Thoughts that you or I might have. Weird, random, yet relevant thoughts. Comforting.

I can't seem to get to bed earlier. I'm not really trying hard enough. But I'm improving very slowly (like, earlier by minutes. that slowly) and so I am optimistic that in a couple weeks, I will have a sleep schedule in place. And perhaps a workout schedule, as well. Which might be beyond the scope of my reach but we'll see.

School school school. I do so love my classes this semester. (I reserve the right to change my mind, by the way). On Sunday evenings, however, I tend to feel a little anxious. Like I just want to nest in my 11'x12' and stay here for a while. I guess it's just not knowing what the week will hold, getting out of the rhythm of things. Hopefully I can incorporate more relaxing, meditative activities on Sundays to get rid of that useless anxiety.

I find myself stumbling upon so many blogs whose authors have lost babies before or shortly after birth. It's hurting my heart, and I don't know why I keep finding so many. Is blogging an outlet for many of those mothers? Or is it me attracting those kinds of posts? True, I find it compelling to read. The stories are so beautiful and eloquent; hopeful. But I've discovered an uncomfortable amount, and I cannot figure out why.

I'm still vlogging every day, and I don't intend to stop. I really like doing it, and I shouldn't feel pressure to have something exciting in the video every day. It's my life, the way it is. Real. And if my day is boring, then so it goes. 

So far, my daily resolutions have given me so much awesome structure. Blogging, vlogging, and journaling are all so fulfilling in different ways. I can release everything. I feel lighter, my soul feels refreshed. I just have to commit to staying honest and to really getting it off my chest. It's really a fascinating little experiment.

Dan comes tomorrow (!) It has only been three weeks, but feels like ages. Also, in 5 weeks, we will have been together for one year. I cannot for the life of me wrap my head around that fact. It feels so long and so short at the same time. But just.... substantial. Nothing to laugh at. It's a real chunk of my life. When people ask how long I've been with him, it will no longer be measured in months, but years. Wow. I am so excited to celebrate that day with him. He means so much to me, represents a completely new time in my life. I'll dedicate a whole post to that at some point. 

And there we have it. Ahhh. Such a lovely feeling, emptying the mind. Feeds the soul, ironically enough.

Until tomorrow!

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